ATREYU - suicide notes and butterfly kisses A Song For The Optimists Blow the last candle out… let the was harden I wish I could stop crying… I wish someone still loved me Just breathe and focus… how can I when the air is so cold and empty That my lungs froze right in my chest I’ll be honest the silver linings are getting harder and harder to manufacture And the smiles are so difficult to fake What do I have to do, or who do I have to kill, to get what I want… what I need Happiness is an emotion I was born to this world without, nothing pleases me… I cannot be satiated Thru this toil I will breed my own distress and destroy my best hopes, fuck up the only things I love… I WATCHED MY DREAMS DIE… I watched my aspirations crash to the ground on the backs of the angels that I’ve slain… But I meant so well, I tried to hard, gave every ounce of my soul, to what end… Desolation, desire, exhale, pass away… Dilated yesterday I forgot to breathe for like the 6th time this week… maybe it was the pink cloud strafed sky that changed my mind and brought me back seems like every day it’s kill or be killed….. with all this anger there is no time to inhale and progress and catch the smell of something that you once knew… have you ever stopped raised your face up to the sun and screamed let it out exhale the pain that strangulates your soul, when will I be free my lungs take in the fragrance of remorse, what is the cost, am I living, if you let your lungs fill up with pain then you will drown in your own regret… …my arms feel so numb my heart palpitates missing a beat… the blood freezing in my veins… the taste of rust in my mouth. But today I just threw it all away …though the light burns my eyes I will not be blind, if you blink you could miss so much… please don’t ever close your eyes Ain't Love Grand It’s so hard to see when your eyes are rolling in the back of your head It’s even harder to speak when everything you say just comes out wrong Gutted like a pig, all you want is the world to bleed, someone somewhere stole your desire The pain akin to, being punched in the throat, and stabbed in the chest You would rather bleed than be without her Gone are the tender whispers dancing in your ears Replaced with lackluster memories you cry, your screams play in your empty room It’s so hard to see when your eyes are rolling in the back of your head It’s even harder to speak when everything you say just comes out wrong Your bed swallows you whole as the days bleed together, torment on the lips Of a loved one, and if you try hard enough, you can almost taste her, feel her pass and Scream, OH GOD WHY ME Living Each Day Like You're Already Dead Raise up the ghosts of the dead – I won’t die like them Push past the point of raw emotion – I will breathe Exist with a broken spirit - I will die complete Ignore what the angels say enjoy that special place where the demons speak to me I won’t pick out the lining of my coffin yet unless I am sure that color satin is me Better yet go with crushed velvet, that way I’ll be damn sure to enjoy eternity My daily life writes the eulogy, engraved on tombstone diaries, laid to rest with the passing of time Seems to me that even love can die And the rituals, that fade away, and the roses that cease to be laid And to me it clearly appears that we’re already one foot in a very shallow grave I will love with passion You live like you’re dead As each day dies, are we living on to the next or passing on in the twilight Deanne The Arsonist Coward, the next time you want to fuck me over stab me in the front Can I still see my future in your eyes, or can I picture myself dead in your embrace And your cruel crimson red smile, kills Everyone cared about you. Why couldn’t you Instead your greed compelled you to steal other silver linings… No one could have their moments free from your withering touch… Fuck off like you’re the only person that has ever cried or been broken by love Spare me your pity party drunk off your own misfortunes Wallowing in your blissful melancholy .can you taste my blood. You knew that this would kill me. But you carried on and on with your selfish shit., everyone cared about you. Why couldn’t you instead your greed compelled you to steal other silver linings… burnt down my world, you killed my hope spread out the ash and walked away how could you just close off your eyes… turn tail and run, you are the greatest coward damn right I am still pissed.. next time I see you we will see who has the upper hand kiss me fist. Taste the floor. Tired of your games… fuck off goodbye… Someone's Standing On My Chest Starving searching this barren wasteland Trying to grasp being this alone Pleading for a breath of fresh air, someone’s standing on my chest Dying I’m asphyxiating myself Break myself slave to my weakness choke on my words Oh I’m drowning and I feel so alone The lights are on and I wish I was home My lips are screaming pretty nothings My ears are bleeding for want of words, fuck words I need actions Hope as left me fucking shattered Someone’s standing on my chest Alone would be a pleasant change from here How do you gauge loneliness how you ever felt so alone It feels like the light will never reach me here, I am choking back my longing for shed tears So strangulated by my lonesome fears plead don’t worry too much, it only hurts when I breathe At Least I Know I'm A Sinner Lift up a stone and you will find him, cherish the beauty in the world around us Not in buildings or crosses made by man Just me, fuck you, stop playing god, Your forked tongue prophecies, carelessly caressing the wounds of the weak People like you should be crucified, then maybe just maybe you would have an idea Of what you are talking about. My only solace is that one day, judgment will come for the wicked, then we will see who burns Raise your heads, unclasp your hands, your weakness makes me tremble True strength comes from within And we were given this life to live, not exist under standards, set by some bullshit rule book What prayers of yours, were ever answered, by degrading others Spare me your biblical back peddling nonsense For the people that you’ve hurt, and the being your dishonor, Your fall from grace, will finally justify my means Judge me and now you are me and what’s worse You are now a traitor to your god Tell me Judas, how does it feel to be looked down upon Sinners like you, should be stung up from the highest tree you judged me and now you are me, stop playing god Tulips Are Better Crystal clear I see the rose is frail, the thorns hid easily in its beauty, as I go to grasp it in my hand My heart is torn beating from my chest Let me be captivated, by your beauty Then let me fall from your grace, unto my broken knees Close my eyes so tightly, the tears are welling up You aren’t worth the waste, of the salt or the water Fuck all your false beauty, it was transparent just like your smile – liar Your thorns caress my flesh, crimson drops on a snowy field - liar I have watched you retrogress, I have seen what you’ve become – liar Please take your eyes off of me, it’s funny how fast blue eyes fade gray – liar And you are deceit Watching the sun play in your hair I couldn’t really care, care any less about you Just wither away real beauty is forever in you Just wither away A Vampire's Lament I am the walking dead heartbreaker, my apologies, I’m happy you’ll never understand what It’s like to be trapped under six feet of solid glass, I can see out, but no one gets in Screaming at this prison, I’ve locked myself into, I’m sorry that I’m still breathing and that I’ll Kill again. The loneliness is too much for me to handle. But the taste for fresh blood, pushes me on. The fear of romance The pain of living The joy of sorrow The strength of forgiving I told myself the constant pain would ease the tension burning inside But the nights were cold and the days dragged to weeks, I will die here alone I will die God help me, I’m so tired, but in my dreams the wolves eat out my soul God help me, I’m so frightened, but in my dreams wolves tear out my heart I used to be golden, a saint in a time of sorrow, but then the turning came and I kissed The sun goodbye, don’t you get it, it’s always darker in my eyes, the screams of my brothers Egging me on Lip Gloss And Black If I gave you pretty enough words… could you paint a picture of us that works… an emphasis on function rather than design… aren’t you tired cause I will carry you, on a broken back and blown out knees, I have been where you are for a while…. Aren’t you tired of being weak? Such rage that you could scream… all the stars right out of the sky And destroy the prettiest starry night… every evening that I die… alone I am exhumed, just a little less human, and alot more bitter and cold… after all these images of pain, have cut right thru you, I will kiss every scar, and weep you are not alone….. then I’ll show you that place in my chest where my heart still tries to beat… aren’t you tired of being weak? Such rage that you could scream… the stars right out of the sky and destroy the prettiest starry night… every evening that I die live love burn and die